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Göbekli Tepe in present day Turkey is a 12,000 year old temple, that contains megaliths and graphic decorations that – according to established history thinking – is impossible.

It’s way too complicated and sophisticated, too many straight lines and too much accuracy.

It is build 7,000 years before Stonehenge and 6,500 years before the Pyramids in Giza. 

12,000 years ago they didn’t have the maths, the tools or the knowledge to create this. 

Well, guess what: They did it anyway. 

There were hunter-gatherers in the area only 8,000 years ago. 

Well, yes. 

There are hunter-gatherers in Namibia now. 

That doesn’t mean your MasterCard will get rejected in Windhoek.

(...)

As the example with Göbekli Tepe shows, we have no bloody idea when what happened where, and how evolved societies were at what point, when we go back to prehistoric time. 

“Prehistoric” means before we started making notes in real time.

But it’s safe to say that most people get it wrong when they imagine that people were less intelligent or less mature in prehistoric time. 

Of course they didn’t know how to swipe left on Tinder, and they couldn’t calculate tax deductions, but it’s not like they hadn’t invented gossip, oral sex or figuring out the counterweight to lift a monolith. 

They were not fucking stupid! 

If I leave a modern and smart person like you on an island with no tools, what are you going to do? 

Now imagine I wipe your memory of modern tools, so you have never seen a hammer or a microwave oven, you’ll have to imagine those things, what they can do for you, and figure out how you are going to make them. 

Trust me, it will not happen in a day, but it doesn’t mean that you are stupid. 

You’re still pretty smart, and so were your ancestors 15,000 years ago.

They came up with the idea of using a rock to kill an animal or an enemy. 

They figured out how to hit a rock with another rock to make it break and become sharp. 

Now they could cut shit.

(...)

So, all in all it’s always bad for the ingenious population when white people show up on their doorstep, right?

Actually…

In some Melanesian islands in the Pacific, and in Papua New Guinea, some tribes were convinced – with quite a lot of confidence – that these pale people on huge ships were in fact Gods.

Especially as they came with boxes full of amazing unimaginable stuff, like canned food, tools made of metal, guns, and lighters. 

They had to be Gods!

There was no other possible explanation. 

When the white people placed antennas, making it possible for them to communicate through thin air with other Gods, the locals would do the same – or at least try, using bamboo and branches to erect similar towers.

Much to their disappointment it didn’t work. 

You have to be a God to talk to other Gods. 

Dammit!

(...)

Out of options he ran straight through it, and was immediately followed by some Russian blokes, once they snapped out of the surprise. 

When they ran into a snowstorm they gave up, except for Aimo, who had by now started to hallucinate pretty badly. 

As the hallucinations started to wear off, he found himself to be pretty far into enemy territory, and had lost his backpack, with the map and the compass. 

Saatana perkele!

Three wise men style he used the stars to navigate rather sneaky back through enemy lines, until he finally found a German army camp. 

To his regret the camp turned out to be left empty, except for the landmine that blew off one of his feet. 

Saatana perkele!